Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
