so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
