I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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