yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
