i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
