I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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