first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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