K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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