just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
