My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
