Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
