So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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