i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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