so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
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My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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