Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
ok first of all what the fuck
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
