So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
