yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
