I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
So. Much. Porn.
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