Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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