Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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