so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You made out with two different species that night
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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