His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
