i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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