I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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