yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
