We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
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we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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