I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
