its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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