oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
