Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
