he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We're too hungover to prance.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
