I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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