you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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