I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
