Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
