At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize