At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
