my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
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I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
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I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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