wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you inspire me to be a worse person
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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