he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
