You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
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You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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