I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
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you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
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I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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