If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
