you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have post one night stand depression
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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