I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize