im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
