Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
