the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize