My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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