Don't you send me to vm
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
do herpes really smell.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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