i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
