I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
sex in a hospital.. check
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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