I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
