its not stalking. its research.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
