I'm going to jail i love you
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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