It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
